NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
