Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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