Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Randomize
