He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize