oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
