what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
