the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
