3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
