he shaved USA in his pubs
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
