Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
