she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
