u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
