she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
