just tell him i said nine months
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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