Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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