I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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