I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
you made out with another girl for some wings
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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