He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
another moral hangover. fuck.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
