you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
