So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
