Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
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My thoughts exactly.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
