Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
