Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
