my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
