Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize