pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i just made my gag reflex go away.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
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