My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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