As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
how does that bad decision feel?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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