I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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