Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize