shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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