Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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