you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
