Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
