okay pat passed out under dana's car
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
