the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
