Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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