I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
