Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
