I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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