Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
How does one acquire holy water?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
