It's like God shit irony all over that family
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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