She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
