I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
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