ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
