just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
