If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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