I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
