Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
either way he was missing a nipple.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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