Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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