Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
