Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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