try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
