those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
The convent might be a nice break from real life
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
