So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
