Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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