I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
