Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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