Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Those nachos came to me in a dream
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Randomize
