Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize