youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
