At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
