Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
