you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
